Lost in the Movies (formerly The Dancing Image): FBI Agent Albert Rosenfield (TWIN PEAKS Character Series #25)

Thursday, April 27, 2017

FBI Agent Albert Rosenfield (TWIN PEAKS Character Series #25)


The TWIN PEAKS Character Series surveys eighty-two characters from the series Twin Peaks (1990-91) and the film Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) as well as The Missing Pieces (2014), a collection of deleted scenes from that film. A new character study will appear every weekday morning until the premiere of Showtime's new season of Twin Peaks on May 21, 2017. There will be spoilers for the original series and film.

Albert is rude, snide, extraordinarily condescending...and impossible not to love.


Tuesday, February 12, 1988
FBI Special Agent Albert Rosenfield, a forensics expert with a caustic, sarcastic sensibility, is working in his Philadelphia office, his desk a few feet away from his boss', Chief Gordon Cole. Their routine is interrupted by the white-suited Phillip Jeffries, an agent who has been missing for years, followed by a worried Agent Dale Cooper. Albert watches and listens incredulously as Jeffries launches into a rambling, incoherent account of his travels, warning them initially that they're not going to talk about Judy but then insisting, "Judy is positive about this!" "How interesting," Albert deadpans, "I thought we were going to leave Judy out of this." Gordon sends the skeptical agent on an errand to get rid of him, and when Albert returns Jeffries has disappeared...again. Albert calls the front desk and discovers they never saw Jeffries - and also that another agent, Chet Desmond, vanished while on duty in Deer Meadow, Washington.

Friday, February 17, 1989
A year later, Cooper shares his intuition that the killer from the Deer Meadow case will strike again, and that Albert will help Cooper solve that crime. Albert tests Cooper's premonition with a series of questions about the victim, but Cooper's answers are so generic - a blonde teenager involved with sex and drugs - that Albert bursts out, "Well damn, Cooper, that really narrows it down; you're talking about half the high school girls in America!"

Sunday, February 26, 1989
Generic or not, Cooper's predictions weren't wrong. Laura Palmer, the homecoming queen of small-town Twin Peaks, Washington, was murdered exactly a week after their chat. Before long, a grouchy Albert arrives at the Twin Peaks sheriff's station to sneer at the receptionist and lay into local law enforcement for what he perceives as their incompetence and backwards facilities. Sheriff Harry Truman takes Albert aside and threatens force; Albert merely smirks and sets off with the men who have accompanied him.

Monday, February 27, 1989
Albert pisses off another stalwart Peaksian the following morning, when Doc Will Hayward and local tycoon Benjamin Horne, acting on behalf of the dead girl's family, demand that the FBI agent release her body for an impending funeral. Albert, is in the midst of a second autopsy, accuses the doctor of criminally obstructing a federal investigation. Cooper and Truman arrive, and Albert pauses his agitation long enough to call the sheriff a "hulking boob" ("Please, Cooper, I don't suffer fools gladly, and fools with badges, never.") When Truman verbally pushes back, Albert rubs his condescension in the sheriff's face: "I've had about enough of morons and half-wits, dolts, dunces, dullards, and dumbbells, and you chowderhead yokel, you blithering hayseed, you've had enough of me?" Truman responds affirmatively by punching Albert in the face, knocking him onto the corpse. Cooper takes the local's side, demanding Albert wrap up his work immediately so the service can proceed. That afternoon, Albert grumbles some more about the town in the course of revealing his findings (when Truman interjects during this presentation, Albert grins and points: "Look, it's trying to think!"). Albert announces that Laura had cocaine in her system, she was tied up twice on the night of her death, and there was soap found on the back of her neck that matches soap found in a puddle near the crime scene, suggesting the killer washed his hands and then leaned in for a kiss. Laura also had claw marks and bites on her neck and shoulders, and a small  plastic fragment in her stomach, marked with the letter "J". When Truman leaves the room, Albert presents Cooper with a formal complaint against Truman. He requests Cooper's signature and Cooper refuses, condemning Albert's rudeness and singing the praises of Twin Peaks. "Sounds like you've been snacking on some of the local mushrooms," Albert mutters.

Friday, March 3, 1989
Albert, back in Twin Peaks, pulls up at Leo Johnson's house in the midst of a crime scene investigation. A terrified Deputy Andy Brennan flees "Albert Rosenflower" and accidentally hits himself in the face with a loose deck board, inadvertently revealing some evidence. Back at the station, Albert inspects and questions Cooper, who was shot three times the night before. He brushes off Cooper's criticism ("Where does this general unpleasantness come from?") and says Gordon ordered him back to town after hearing news of Cooper's condition. Andy barges in to report that his nose is ok despite the earlier injury: "only blood squirted out!" ("Where do they keep his water dish?" Albert marvels.) Andy also reveals that Leo (currently in a coma after being shot too) was in a jail in Hungry Horse, Montana the night Teresa Banks was murdered in Deer Meadow, indicating he didn't kill Laura given the similarities between those two crimes. Albert accompanies Cooper and Truman to the hospital, where he continues to make fun of Truman and reacts with immense amusement to the tragic story of Big Ed Hurley, a local who explains how he accidentally shot his wife's eye out on their honeymoon (by the end of the tale, Albert is quietly laughing so hard he has to dab his eyes with a handkerchief). Returning to the station again, Cooper and Albert lay out everything they know about Laura's murder over a table full of donuts and evidence. Cooper does most of the talking, with Albert inserting information here and there. As they finish, Andy weeps and Albert cuts in, "I know, Andy, I know, I know, I know. It's what we call a real three-hankie crime." Andy finally strikes back against Albert by telling him to shut up before storming out. Albert takes the reprimand in silence as the others all smirk.

Saturday, March 4, 1989
Albert shares breakfast with Cooper at the Great Northern Hotel. Cooper tells Albert about BOB, "the man Sarah Palmer saw in her vision. The man who came to me in my dream." "Has anyone seen Bob on earth in the last few weeks?" Albert quips. He explains that Jacques was smothered not strangled, suggest Leo was the arsonist who burned down the Packard Sawmill, and reports that his men have been interviewing "the usual crop of rural know-nothings and drunken fly fishermen" including "the world's most decrepit room service waiter ... Senor Droolcup" and Cooper tells him that a ring on his finger disappeared that night. Albert shares the results of Jacques' autopsy; "stomach contents revealed, let's see, beer cans, a Maryland license plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat, and a small wooden puppet. Goes by the name of Pinocchio." Cooper is pleasantly surprised that Albert would make such a light-hearted joke, and even more pleasantly surprised when Albert asks about his health. He is less pleased when Albert reveals another reason for his visit: "Windom Earle." Cooper's ex-partner has escaped from an asylum.

Sunday, March 5, 1989
Albert rushes into Ronette's hospital room after Cooper and Truman, examining the blue dye that has been inserted into her IV. Cooper finds a small paper letter under her fingernail - "B" - as was found under Laura ("R") and Teresa ("T"). He then tells the other lawmen that on the night he was shot, he was visited by a giant. Albert, remembering Cooper's last wacky dream, drily asks, "Any relation to the dwarf?" At the station, Cooper explains how many townspeople have seen BOB (often in visions) and Albert notes that "we sent a portrait of your long-haired man to every agency from NASA to DEA and came up empty. This cat is in nobody's database." He reveals that Cooper was shot with a Walther PPK ("James Bond's gun" he grins), cocaine found with a local biker was probably planted by Leo, and the "B" under Ronette's finger came from Flesh World, an erotic clearing-house magazine. He's off to the lab to examine some fibers found near where Cooper was shot - "my ticket out of Trolleyville." "Anything we should be working on?" Truman earnestly inquires. Albert smiles ear to ear and takes the shot Truman has lined up perfectly. The sheriff reacts with fury, but Albert dramatically turns the tables, explaining that he is essentially a pacifist motivated by love. Truman is stunned as Albert exits. Departing the station, Albert's nonviolent streak doesn't prevent him from jostling a young biker as he passes by.

Saturday, March 11, 1989
Albert is back in Twin Peaks. The killer has struck again, murdering Laura's cousin Maddy Ferguson. This time Albert's snark takes a backseat to determined focus. He's already found some evidence - an "O" under Maddy's fingernail and white fox fur clutched in her hand. "Go on whatever vision quest you require," he tells Cooper. "Stand on the rim of the volcano, stand alone and do your dance." This is the same man that killed Laura, but this is not a case that will be solved by forensic spadework. At the Great Northern, Albert listens as Truman insists that Ben Horne committed the crime, and then he hands Truman and Cooper a report on Ben's blood type. They read the results with silent surprise. At the Road House tavern amidst a lightning storm, Cooper gathers a group of townspeople as well as law enforcement, and awaits a revelation. Finally he places Ben under arrest a second time and invites Leland Palmer, Ben's attorney (and the father of Ben's alleged victim) to accompany them to the sheriff's station. Albert watches all of this with interest and little commentary (aside from a sarcastic "I think it's going terrifically well, don't you?") before Cooper makes his call. At the station, Cooper and Truman shove Leland into the cell and hold Ben back. The whole operation was a ruse to get him behind bars. Albert observes the ensuing madness with keen interest and none of his trademark cynicism. Leland, claiming to be the inhabiting spirit BOB, confesses to the murders of Teresa, Laura, and Maddy, and then bashes himself into the cell door until his head is a bloody pulp. The sprinkler system has been activated and as water pours down from the ceiling, Albert watches Leland weep and insist that he loved his daughter and that "they" made him kill his victims. Albert shakes his head at Cooper: this guy's not gonna make it. He steps back to observe Cooper recite a passage from the Tibetan Book of the Dead over the dying Leland.

Sunday, March 12, 1989
Many hours later, clothes dry, any business involving the removal of Leland's body and reporting of his death concluded, Albert, Cooper, and Truman wander into the surprisingly sunny woods. There they run into an Air Force major. The four of them discuss what the hell happened to Leland. When Truman insists that BOB must have been imagined, Albert corrects him: multiple people saw this figure in visions. Struggling to figure out this mystery himself, Albert wonders, "Maybe that's all that Bob is. The evil that men do. Maybe it doesn't matter what we call it."

Monday, March 20, 1989
Albert arrives in Twin Peaks a fourth time in a far more cheerful mood - after quickly grumbling "Get a life, punk!" at a surly teen, he embraces Truman in a big bear hug. He's back because of Windom Earle, who has murdered a homeless man and mailed his dead wife's wedding garments to police stations around the country. The rouge agent out to get Cooper. Albert sympathizes with the currently suspended Cooper (who has taken to wearing plaid) before offering an unsolicited observation: "Replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suite and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earthtones is a form of fashion suicide. But, call me crazy - on you it works." That afternoon, he presents a slide show on a different subject: multiple pieces of evidence suggest that Josie Packard, Truman's girlfriend, shot Cooper. Cooper worries about the impact this will have on Truman (who isn't present).

Tuesday, March 21, 1989
Albert has more news for Cooper - Josie's companion, murdered in Seattle, was shot with the same bullets as Cooper. Considering the vicuna coat fibers that Albert has already presented, Josie's guilt appears conclusive. But Cooper still hopes she'll turn herself in to spare Truman some grief. Finally, late in the day, Albert calls Cooper into the hallway as Truman grimly looks on. Residue on her gloves and a witness from Seattle make it absolutely certain that Josie shot both Cooper and Jonathan. Albert wants to "bust this bitch," but Cooper tells him he can handle it. Truman sees them and storms out of the station. Albert comments, "I think you just did."

Characters Albert interacts with onscreen…

Gordon Cole

Phillip Jeffries

Agent Cooper

Lucy Moran

Sheriff Truman

Doc Hayward

Ben Horne

Deputy Andy

Ed Hurley

James Hurley

Leland Palmer

Major Briggs

Bobby Briggs

Characters whose corpse he encounters

Laura Palmer

Impressions of TWIN PEAKS through Albert
Here is a character who definitely has strong impressions of Twin Peaks, and not "strong" in a good way. Albert's take on small town charm, and especially the inhabitants who demonstrate it, is scathing. As such, Albert wryly situates the show's sensibility (at least when he's onscreen) as worldly and self-aware, similarly to elements like Invitation to Love, instead of simply entrancing us with the moody locale. Albert is bracing, shocking, and refreshing. He offers a radically altered perspective on these good people. The sturdy Sheriff Truman becomes a lumbering oaf, kind and humane Doc Hayward a sentimental quack, and everybody's buddy Big Ed a goofy cartoon of hick culture. We quickly backtrack from these dismissive takes, but there's something appealing about occasionally indulging our less charitable instincts. He provides cathartic release as a (much less damaging, and ultimately subverted) example of a character type I call the "charismatic sociopath."

Witty, fast-paced, and witheringly unsentimental, Albert's scenes provide a distinctive, necessary spice for Twin Peaks' stew - a crucial wink to the show's hip viewers that they were all in the joke. Of course, especially after in the years after the "pop culture fad" phase of Twin Peaks' popularity quickly dissolved, fans tend to adore its world and inhabitants more unironically. As such, Albert theoretically shouldn't resonate at all; he should be someone that fans love to hate, a villain to hiss at as he besmirches the noble sheriff and good-hearted townspeople. At best, he should be a guilty pleasure, yet he doesn't feel this way to most people. Admirers relish his presence as earnestly as Cooper's, despite the opposition of their personalities. Of course this is partly due to the slow revelation of his heart of gold, yet the widespread affection is engendered as early as his first episode. Somehow, Twin Peaks feels rich enough to contain even its most fervent antitheses.

Albert's journey
Like so many memorable characters, Albert is sharply defined in season one. It's a bit of a shock to realize he's only in three scenes in that season, mostly in one episode. Of course, he packs so much dialogue into those appearances that his presence looms large over the season; especially on a languidly-paced series, his rapid-fire repartee really stands out. No wonder the creators brought him back for season two, and yet this provides an interesting test of his capabilities as a character. Albert's delight is that he is brutally one-note, allowing him to stand in sharp contrast to everyone else onscreen. But how long can this gag be sustained, especially on a show that evolves as rapidly as Twin Peaks? Based on the evidence in early season two, quite a while. After all, that's television's forte, to find a niche for its characters and milk their signature traits episode after episode, season after season. Kramer didn't need to "evolve," did he?

Nonetheless, this is Twin Peaks, and sure enough Albert grows more complex. There are actually very subtle hints as early as the premiere, when Cooper questions Albert's mean-spiritedness and Andy offers a comeuppance. The first clue that maybe Albert is a softie arrives in the next episode ("I believe it's customary to ask after the health of one recently plugged three times" before brusquely warning, "Don't get sentimental"). Still, nothing can prepare us for the FBI agent's affinity for Gandhi and King. The fact that he delivers his idealistic monologue in a manner as sharp and cutting as his ruthless putdowns only heightens the thrill of its incongruity. I've heard some Twin Peaks fans complain that this moment ruins Albert, making him lose his edge. I think it's more accurate to say that it's the perfect, twisty conclusion to his presence on the show (with his bumping of James a nice final bit of punctuation), after which everything else seems a little redundant.

Indeed, I wonder if the moment was intended as his swan song. Ferrer, probably on the strength of Twin Peaks, had just been cast as the lead in a new CBS prime-time drama, Broken Badges. A few episodes later Gordon Cole shows up to report that "Albert won't be coming back." It would have been a hell of a farewell. However, we do get to see Albert again, several times. And sure enough, his character is more subdued. He gets a lot of screentime in the conclusion of the Laura Palmer investigation, and I love that he's able to be a part of one of the show's three or four most vital setpieces (Leland's death); that said, he's definitely a background figure to the main action. His last hurrah involves Josie and Windom Earle - by now he's totally chummy with Twin Peaks (hugging Truman, even complimenting Cooper's flannel!) although he still gets some choice lines and maintains a semi-sharp quality.

As with so many aspects of Twin Peaks, it could be said that Albert overstays his welcome, coming on for an encore when he already killed it in his last number. However, it feels churlish to want less. Albert is a beloved favorite who tends to elevate every scene he's in (if anything this becomes even more true when the material gets weaker). For sheer entertainment value, the ensemble doesn't get much better than this.

Actor: Miguel Ferrer
To observe that Ferrer comes from a show business family is a massive understatement. His mother, Rosemary Clooney, was one of the great pop stars of the fifties, releasing a series of hit records and co-starring in White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. His father, Jose Ferrer, won the Academy Award for Best Actor as Cyrano de Bergerac (he also won a Tony for that role onstage) and was a major Hollywood actor in such films as Moulin Rouge, The Caine Mutiny, and Lawrence of Arabia (as well as voicing Badger in my favorite adaptation of The Wind in the Willows) - and, commentators have reminded me to mention, Dune (meaning both generations were directed by David Lynch). Ferrer's uncle was the TV personality/political candidate Nick Clooney and his cousin, Nick's son, was George Clooney, who you may have heard of. In this storied family, Miguel Ferrer left his own mark. As a teenager, he played drums on Keith Moon's solo album but it would be his father's, not his mother's, field in which he'd pursue a career (that said, he did perform in the band Seduction of the Innocent with Lost in Space alum and close friend Bill Mumy).

Ferrer's film work includes Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Hot Shots! Part Deux, Blank Check, Traffic, Iron Man 3, and perhaps most notably as the evil executive Bob Morton in RoboCop. His TV work is even more extensive; after debuting as the younger version of his father's character in Magnum, P.I., he went on to land guest roles CHiPs, Hill Street Blues (during Mark Frost's run as executive story editor), and Miami Vice in the eighties. At the same time he was appearing in eight episodes of Twin Peaks and seven episodes of the short-lived Broken Badges, he was also cast in the recurring role of a district attorney on John Sayles' TV show Shannon's Deal (Lynch wasn't the only cinema auteur making a foray into prime-time in 1990). In the spring of 1992, Ferrer reunited with Lynch and Frost for their sitcom On the Air, shooting seven episodes as the short-tempered, very Albert-esque TV exec Bud Budwaller, although only three were aired. He starred in the miniseries The Stand and had recurring roles - in some cases as a regular cast member - on Fallen Angels, Al Franken's show LateLine, Bionic Woman, The Protector, and Desperate Housewives. He also did recurring voice work on Adventure Time (as Death), Young Justice, and Jackie Chan Adventures. By far his two longest parts were as Dr. Garrett Macy in every single episode of Crossing Jordan (six seasons) and as Owen Granger in NCIS: Los Angeles (five seasons) which he joined in its third season and remained with until his death. In both cases, he appeared in well over a hundred episodes. (series pictured: NCIS: Los Angeles, circa 2010s)

Episodes
Episode 2 (German title: "Zen, or the Skill to Catch a Killer")

Episode 3 (German title: "Rest in Pain")

*Episode 8 (German title: "May the Giant Be With You" - best episode)

Episode 9 (German title: "Coma")

Episode 10 (German title: "The Man Behind Glass")

Episode 16 (German title: "Arbitrary Law")

Episode 22 (German title: "Masters and Slaves")

Episode 23 (German title: "The Condemned Woman")

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (feature film)

Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces (collection of deleted scenes from the film)

Writers/Directors
Albert has strong associations with all four of Twin Peaks' top creators. Harley Peyton writes him four times: twice solo, once with Robert Engels, and once with Mark Frost and Engels. Engels also writes Albert four times. In addition to those two collaborations, he authors one solo Albert teleplay and collaborates with Lynch on Fire Walk With Me. Lynch is credited for co-writing Albert twice - the film and the angry agent's first appearance on the show, with Frost. Frost, who writes or co-writes Albert three times, may have the primary voice in that debut - Peyton credits Frost with conceiving the character in the first place and also attributes the infamous "pacifist speech" to him (although, given that the episode is credited to Engels, Peyton may be misremembering that particular point). Albert's sardonic brilliance, his knowing persona and facility with quips, certainly feel more at home in Frost's worldly oeuvre than Lynch's.

However, Peyton may be the writer most closely associated with Albert. In addition to writing some of his most memorable quips in the breakfast scene with Cooper, Peyton authors the funeral episode in which the angry agent makes such a strong impression. Albert makes his memorable but brief debut in the previous episode, but since that was shot out of sequence, Peyton's dialogue is the first Miguel Ferrer delivers. In Mark Altman's 1990 book Twin Peaks: Behind the Scenes, Ferrer recalls, "It is probably the most difficult one I will ever have. It was just tongue twisters of unsayable dialogue and it was Shakespearean almost in that if you let one link of the chain drop, you couldn't ad lib this stuff so it really all had to come out letter-perfect. I sweated bullets to get through that day."

In the same book, he praises Tina Rathborne, the first director to work with Albert: "I liked her very much. Her experience in television and feature film-making was rather limited and she didn't come in with a lot of preconceived notions. She was really sort of following her own inner voice, whatever the heck that was. She hadn't been spoiled by the machine yet and I do mean that as the highest compliment." In addition to Rathborne's one outing, Albert is directed once each by Tim Hunter and Diane Keaton. Lesli Linka Glatter works with him twice, handling his big speech and also his last appearance on the series. She's the only director besides Lynch to work with him more than once. Lynch, who writes Albert the least of any of the writers, works with him extensively as director - four times and a majority of his scenes. And he has a certain vision of even this witty, snarky character that keeps him within the world of Twin Peaks.

"I remember writing a line for Albert," Peyton reports in Altman's book, "... where he was referring to someone as a sort of two-bit Marcus Welby and the note that came back from David immediately is that they're not going to watch television like we would and they would never say that."

Statistics
Albert is onscreen for roughly forty-nine minutes. He is in twenty-three scenes in nine episodes (the lowest count in a while) plus the feature film and deleted scenes collection, taking place over a month (with one scene from a year earlier). He's featured the most in episode 16, when Leland is captured. His primary location is the sheriff's station. He shares the most screentime with Cooper. He is one of the top ten characters in episodes 3 and 10 and one of the top five characters in episodes 8 and 16. Albert's first visit lasts about eight minutes, his second visit (the longest) about twenty minutes, his third visit about twelve and half minutes, and his fourth visit about five and half minutes.

Best Scene
Episode 10: Albert proves his professional prowess (rattling off a series of forensic breakthroughs) alongside his immortal snark ("You might practice walking without dragging your knuckles on the floor," which nearly precipitates a fight); the evidence and the quips would be enough to carry this scene to the top but in the end Albert reveals another side as well...

Best Line
“You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I'm a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence. I pride myself on taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method...is love. I love you, Sheriff Truman.”

Albert Offscreen

The Pilot: Discovering the letter under Laura's nail, Cooper excitedly reports his finding to Diane on the tape recorder, adding, "Diane, let's give this to Albert and his team. Don't go to Sam, Albert seems to have a little more on the ball."

Episode 1: Cooper talks to Albert on the phone, setting up his visit the next day. He tells him he only has one day with the body, and recommends a stop at the Lamplighter Inn on his way up: "They've got a cherry pie that'll kill ya!"

Episode 2: As Albert awaits in the lobby, Cooper tells Truman that the FBI agent is "a forensics genius, but I should warn you that he's lacking in some of the social niceties."

Episode 3: During breakfast at the Great Northern, Cooper receives news of a fight at the morgue, and knows right away that Albert is involved.

Episode 4: Gordon Cole calls into the Twin Peaks sheriff's station to relay some more of Albert's findings: the twine from Laura's arms is Finley's Fine Twine and the scratches on her shoulders are from a bird. Gordon also tell Cooper that Albert has filed a complaint about Truman's assault; Cooper refuses to comply, and insists that he'll fight Albert furiously in defense of the sheriff. Later, Gordon calls again to report that Albert has identified the object found in Laura's stomach: a poker chip. And the bird who bit Laura is a myna.

Episode 13: Gordon shows up at the station himself to say that Albert won't be coming back, but he has his results: fibers from where Cooper was shot are from a Vicuna coat, the one-armed man's syringe contained Haloperidol (among other drugs), and papers found near Laura's death site are from a diary. Gordon also tells Cooper that Albert is worried he might be in over his head.

Additional Observations

• In at least one scene, Albert is wearing suspenders along with a belt. My guess is that this is someone's nod (probably Frost's) to the classic noir Ace in the Hole, in which Kirk Douglas plays a disgraced big city reporter forced to take a job with a small-town newspaper. The paper's editor wears suspenders with a belt (to signify how careful he is), a fashion the reporter mocks before he ends up taking it up himself. Both the reporter's contempt for provincialism and the editor's diligent discipline fit Albert, so suspenders and a belt it is.

• Albert takes his sunglasses off three times, in three different shots, when Andy is reacting to his head injury. This suggests that David Lynch was prolonging Andy's antics as long as possible in the cutting room, by using multiple takes to stretch out the sequence.

• In deleted dialogue from the episode 3 script, Cooper vows to Truman that he won't allow the sheriff to get "buttkicked" for punching Albert. In episode 8, he was supposed to have a brief exchange with Lucy on his way out of the conference room. The description of Laura's last night was also written to be longer, with Albert interjecting more sarcastic comments (suggesting the whole town could've used Josie's English lessons, and asking Truman if he thinks Laura's and Bobby's homework was trigonometry). In the episode 16 script, Albert's previous reversal seems short-lived; he hasn't quite buried the axe with Truman yet (after seriously advising Cooper to follow his instincts he turns to Truman and quips, "And perhaps you could follow behind him with a buglight attached to a pith helmet").

• Albert's biggest deleted scene was cut from episode 9 (I have no idea if it was shot, though I suspect it didn't fit Lynch's style). In it, he visits Blue Pine Lodge with Cooper and Truman to interrogate Pete and speculate about the intrigue that led to the mill fire. After he and Cooper go back and forth about the intricacies of the plot he turns to Truman and sneers, "Don't be shy, Prince of Yokels. You too can participate in the investigatory process." As Albert insults the grieving widower, Pete comments, "I don't like you." One more comment puts him over the edge and Pete tells a long story about a romantic rival for Catherine in his youth. He punched the man in the face, and now he repeats that gesture with Albert who can only grumble "Not again," before Pete slugs him.

• In the script for Fire Walk With Me (a scene which was probably never shot, since it's not in The Missing Pieces), Albert expresses some frustration about his close working environment with Gordon Cole: "[Every syllable of every word is the sound of] six to eight hands clapping. I was referring to the possibility of a little silence." After Jeffries' appearance, Albert plays a word association game with Gordon and Cooper. He selects "Tylenol," because "no offense, sir, but after a day with you it is mandatory." In deleted lines from a later scene (also never restored), Albert and Cooper debate the utility of Gordon's word association games. "The very fact that we are talking about word association," Cooper affirms, "means we are in a space that was opened up by our practice of word association. The world is a hologram, Albert." "Yes," Albert mockingly agrees, "it's a great big psychedelic circus ride, isn't it, Cooper?"

• Oddly enough, Albert is only mentioned once in Scott Frost's The Autobiography of F.B.I. Special Agent Dale Cooper: My Life, My Tapes (perhaps taking a cue from Andy's mispronunciations). In a one-line entry dated February 4, 1978, Cooper asks, "Diane, what do you know about a special agent named Albert Rosenfelt, and why is he so angry?


SHOWTIME: Yes, Ferrer is on the cast list for 2017. He is one of at least six actors to pass away between the announcement of the return and the premiere, and one of at least four who was able to participate in production before his death (David Bowie was supposed to appear but his material was almost certainly never shot). Has Albert mellowed with age, as he arguably already did within the narrow space of the show? Doubtful. However, he has more reason than ever to break the illusion of emotional distance - as several fans have noted, if anyone is going to be clued in to Cooper's condition, it's Albert. Albert, and particularly his testy but affectionate relationship to Cooper, is one of the most popular elements among young Twin Peaks fans. How will this play out in the coming months, after twenty-five years of percolation?

Tomorrow: Sarah Palmer
Two Weeks Ago: Windom Earle

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